One scary mother

I was cleaning out my upstairs closet and happened across the Ouija Board. It is called a game for fun and laughs but I was taught at my mother's knee that it is a scary thing. And, I can't ever bring myself to open the box.

When I was a young girl, I watched as my mother and Aunt Mary moved a cardtable across the floor without touching it. They merely laid their hands about an inch above it and the sucker moved until they removed their hands.

I've seen my mother use a Ouija board and never touch the planchette. She told me never to play with the board. In her words: "It is dangerous!" Anything to do with the suggestion of the occult and supernatural was "dangerous" to her.

She had home remedies based in the wifecraft of years. Warts, cut a potato into four pieces, rub each side across the wart and bury it in the earth by the light of the moon. It works, people. And a side benefit is that you get potatoes too. Just dig them up and fix them in your favorite fashion, mmmmmm good.


If you know my family then you know that my mother is possessed of a highly attuned psychic personality - she knows ahead of time when something is happening with one of her offspring. All of us girls have seen it in use when we were having children. Just read NanaCookie's description that she posted on 1/7/06. My personal experience came after the birth of my son in the hospital in South Florida. I was suffering from postpartum depression and was crying for no apparent reason. Unknown to me, my mother had a dream the night before that I was standing at the foot of her bed asking for her to come down. She was there the next day - having made my father drive 24 hours from Indiana to get her there as quickly as she could. [And since my other sister has started a blog, Rebecca's Ramblings, I expect to see her story on it too, one day.]

The bottom line is that I am extremely superstitious and yes, if I spill salt I throw some over my left shoulder to drive the gremlins away that made me spill it in the first place. I cross my fingers, I knock on wood, I do not walk under ladders, and, I will not have an open umbrella in my house.

Now, back upstairs to throw the damn thing out!

Jesus Christ Superstar

Our latest Sunday afternoon was spent watching this movie that first came out in 1973. We actually went to the theatre to see it then. I thought it was going to be sacraligious and I didn't particularly want to see it but it was great. This is one of my favorite movies of all time.

If you haven't seen this movie, give it a try. For a rock opera, it is one of the best and some of the music just gives you goosebumps. It sure beats the pants off Mass for shut-ins.

Just a taste of the super lyrics. If you've seen the movie, you'll find yourself singing - if not, you 're missing out!

Jesus in Garden of Getheseme talking to God:

Why, then, am I scared to finish what I started? What you started! God, I didn't start it!

God, thy will is hard. But you hold every card. I will drink your cup of poison, nail me to your cross and break me, bleed me, beat me, kill me! Take me now, before I change my mind!

Letter to my pets

When I say to move, it means to go someplace that is not in front of me.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing
your paw print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a
claim making it YOUR plate and food.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
in your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than
you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch
to ensure your comfort. Dogs actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another,
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit
through the same door I entered. Honest. Also, I have been using the
bathroom by myself for quite some time --canine attendance is not
mandatory.

I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other
dog's behind.

To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following notice
on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets --

1. The pets live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why it's call "fur"niture.)

3. To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an adopted
son/daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and
doesn't speak clearly.

4. Dogs are better than kids because:
they don't ask for money all the time,
they are easier to train,
they usually come when called,
they don't hang out with drug-using friends
they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education,
and --- if they get pregnant, you can sell the children. :)

---author unknown

Mops

Before you think I've gone all serious and only writing about the items in the news - I'll give you a taste of my latest count. 6. Yes. 6. I own 6 mops and none of them do the job worth a damn.

Maybe my mother had the right idea back in the '60s that you had to get down on your hands and knees twice a year and use a scrub brush on your floors. Yeah, right. I'm mopping because I have to, not to make mother of the year.

I have a commercial mop, great big doodad of a thing that cleans 12 inches of tile in a single swipe. Problem is that I'm developing muscles using it. A major design flaw is that a great big hunking man didn't come with it.

I have a sponge mop with a scrub brush on one side. Problem with it is that I have 2200 feet of tile. Swipe, swipe, scrub, scrub, and then you have to stick it back in the bucket for more water. At that rate, mopping takes me all day.

I have two twisty mops. You know the kind, stick them in the bucket and twist them dry and then mop. They suck too.

I have a small rag mop. It is somewhere in-between the commercial model and the twisties. Have to get my hands wet through to ring it out. It does more tile on a single load of water, though.

And I have a Swiffer Wet Jet. Works okay for those days when the floor needs a lick and a promise. The cleaning cloth falls apart too quickly though; usually after one room. Between the cloth and the solution I am supporting Swiffer. I should buy stock.

I have come to the realization that the best floor is vinyl. Good old-fashioned linoleum. You can give it a swipe, it looks great. You don't need muscles or a bunch of mops. When it looks worn, replace it....it is cheap enough. Just think of the money you'd save not buying Swiffer products.

Retraction on Brokeback Mountain

1/19 - Due to poor press the theatre owners are receiving, and the fact that major awards have been given to Brokeback Mountain, it will be showing in Panama City starting this weekend. Now, my feeling is the same as it is on books...I may not care to read/see it but I defend your right to read/see it. And, I apologize to the Christian right, whoever they may be, as they do not own the local theatres - they just monopolize them.

1/11 - I read an editorial the other day by one of our locals that complained about Brokeback Mountain not playing in our area. So I went to check -- lo and behold, he is absolutely right. The Christian right, left and center are alive and well here in the Panhandle.

I may not have a desire to see this highly-acclaimed movie, but I defend his right to see it. After all, how many movies show gay men as regular guys, not the overly effeminate versions like we see on TV. Now while the Christian right does not want to subject their poor little innocent teenagers to this nasty movie, here is what is playing and to which they sent their kids to with a cherry "have a good time".


Bloodrayne: [R] Strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity. Trivia: The half-naked prostitutes in the scene with Leonid (Meat Loaf) are actually real Romanian prostitutes.

Hostel: [R] Three backpackers head to a Slovakian city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them. It has old fashioned horror staples of nudity, terror, blood and tension.

Wolf Creek: [R] A chilling, factually-based, story of three road-trippers in remote Australia who are plunged into danger when they accept help from a friendly local. It even gives Tobe Hooper's Texas CHAINSAW MASSACRE a run for it's money.

Grandma's Boy: [R] A 35 year old video game tester has to move in with his grandma and her two old lady roommates. Contains drug use and language throughout, strong crude and sexual humor, and nudity

Yes, these are definitely movies I want my kids to see.

Lottery

I read a quote by Charlotte Bronte [1816-1855] the other day that goes like this:

"One does not jump, and spring, and shout hurrah! at hearing one has got a fortune; one begins to consider responsibilities, and to ponder business."

Now for those of you who do not read the classics, Charlotte wrote Jane Eyre, which was published in 1847. Yes, 1847! So a fortune in her day of a mere 2,000 pounds, would probably equate to $2M US today. Even still, tell me that one would not jump up and down! Bull-caca!!

Like most people who play the lottery I dream of the things I could do with a few million. First off though, I'd be jumping up and down like a nutcase, screaming my lungs out. Then I'd have to have a cigarette, and a glass of wine, and an extra Toprol to settle down. Then I'd start to worry about the responsibility of having all that money in my bank account and call an accountant and my lawyer; and, change my phone number.

Even still, I have things on my wish list that I will share with you.

1. Pay off house.
2. Pay off kids' houses.
3. New car for CD.
4. 2nd car for me, lol - I'd love to have a van.
5. Help a relative in need get on feet.
6. Prepaid college for grandkids.
7. Prepaid burial expenses.
8. Clothes. I'd have to dress the part of a rich bitch.
9. Few goodies for kids and grandkids.
10. A trip to Las Vegas - first class.

This is just off the top of my head and not necessarily in that order. In the meantime, I'll keep dreaming. But right now, the newspaper is here and I've got to check my numbers.

DVD: Crash with Sandra Bullock

We were loaned a recently released movie named "Crash" by one of CD's co-workers who has a video library of 400 DVDs (and counting). It is a class drama written and directed by Paul Haggis. It starred Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon and a few others I recognize.

We had never heard about this movie but we had a couple hours to kill and figured that we could always turn it off if it sucked. Well, it grabbed us from the first scene and didn't let go until it was over. We only took one break during the 113-minute running time.

The movie centers on several characters of different racial backgrounds [black, Chinese, Persian, Mexican, etc] and how they collide in one incident. And it doesn't clean up everything at the end - you are left hanging and talking about stereotypes.

So I'd recommend it - but beware that the name "Crash" is really not relevant. It begins and ends with a car crash that has already happened so don't expect any special effects. It's a THOUGHT movie.

It's funny how events conspire. We watched this movie on Tuesday night and here is what is in today's paper.

Showbiz writers have rewarded independent features and issues-oriented dramas -- along with offbeat comedy "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" -- in Writers Guild of America screenplay nominations. Noms in original category went to "Cinderella Man," "Crash," "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," "Good Night, and Good Luck" and "The Squid and the Whale." [AP]

The Million Dollar Homepage

If you haven't heard about this homepage started by a college student looking for some money to pay his expenses, you should see this.

In a nutshell this is all the advertising content you care to look at for the next 50 years on one page. This kid had a brilliant idea and it is already being copied. You can read his blog on how it all got started.

Neen