I'm hungry!

WARNING: if you get grossed out easily, go read something else!!

When you hit the big 50 the first thing the doctor wants is to stick something up your ass to see if it is working. Well, doc, wouldn't I know if it wasn't working? Actually, no. You may have all kinds of weird things growing in there and you will never know it until too late to do anything about them. Thanks to the medical history of your family (which is something you should know) you could possibly have a predilection to get those nasty little things. And, by the way, if you are related to me, get ready to have several over the course of your lifetime. I'm headed in at 6:00 am in the morning for my 3-year checkup. You see, I'm susceptible to polyps- (gee thanks, Dad)!

I go to a quite progressive digestive disease center for this part of Florida. That is all they do - digestive diseases. That is, from the time the food hits your tongue until it comes out the end. No longer do you need to drink 10 gallons of foul-tasting, foul-smelling stuff the day before your test so that you can poop your brains out overnight. Now they start two whole days before the test.

Yesterday was "Low-Residue Diet" day. I could eat but only if it were white. For instance, oatmeal for breakfast with milk. That was cool and a very usual breakfast for me. Lunch was cottage cheese. OK - not too bad but I did miss the nuts, raisins and peaches I usually put in it. Dinner was sauteed fish with cauliflower. White, white, white. White bread is ok, white potato is ok, spaghetti is ok with no sauce. While these foods are ok for most of you, I don't eat them as a rule. What I really missed was chocolate!!

Today is liquid day..you know, water, soda, coffee, tea, fruit juice, broth and jello. The good thing is you can drink in color and eat jello as long as they are not red. So I'm having a good old cup of beef broth after which I'll eat peach jello, have a cup of coffee and wish I could eat real food. AT 2:30 I start popping pills and wash them down with a small cup of Fleet Phospho-soda. Then the fun starts!!

Oh, well....I'll have a nice breakfast about 10 am tomorrow. After that, it will be

WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE!!