Rules to deal with the older generation

Rule #1 - Be compassionate. You will be one of us sooner than you think.

Rule #2 - Remember that what is mine is mine to do with as I please, I earned it with blood, sweat and tears. I do not have to leave it to you. Until my mind has gone completely south I still get to decide and I do not have to explain it to you.

Rule #3 - Don't treat us like children. Treat us like adults with age-related problems.

Rule #4 - Forgive us our transgressions and we'll forget yours. If you don't you may find your inheritance is a basket to go to hell in.

Rule #5 - Remember who helped make sure that you always had food to eat, a safe place to lie your head, and a slap on the bottom to remind you of your manners.

Rule #6 - Don't piss off my caregiver or you may end up wiping my ass.

Five months and counting

Shall I age gracefully? I am told that getting old is about aging with dignity.

Let's see what I have to look forward to:

Hearing - never been great due to perforated eardrums and now it's going to hell in that proverbial basket we've talked about before.

Eyesight - not what it used to be and going downhill from here. Next stop coke bottles.

Lifting - anything heavy is beyond me. More than 15 pounds gets a cry for help.

Joints - popping, groaning and complaining loudly.

Memory - selective, which may not in itself be a bad thing, but sure does tend to piss off other people.

General health - face it, this is as good as it is going to get.

So why the reflective attitude today you ask? Growing older will do that for you.