AAAH, OUCH, OUCH - AAAaaahhh

I did come home eventually after spending five hours being pampered like royalty - hot tea, Evian water, unbelievable scents and lotions. Aaah.

When I first went in, I was led to a dimly lit brown room with a massage table and told to remove all my clothing (if I wanted I could leave my panties on) and lie on the table face down, then the masseuse would be in. So I thought what the hell, when in France, so I peeled down to my birthday suit and hopped on the table. Did I say table? Not so! It was an extremely well-padded bed that was heated. Yes, heated. I was covered by a small light blanket and a heavy velvet blanket, I felt like a newborn babe in swaddling*. There was light relaxing music wafting about my head. AAAh.

Then the masseuse came in and asked if I had ever had a massage before. Nope, this is my first time. She says to tell her if anything hurts and she'll ease up and off we go. First she removes the blankets from my back and places hot stones on my back to loosen the muscles as she works on my legs and feet. The hot stones were just short of burning, but did that ever feel good! She massaged my feet and legs and I almost fell asleep. Then she covers them back up and proceeds to remove those hot stones. She massaged and massaged and then pain. OUCH. Not bad, she says, not bad at all. OUCH. Not bad for who?? She pummeled and twisted and kneaded like she was making fresh bread....OUCH. OUCH. OUCH. Then she got more lotion that got warm and she made everything feel better. AAAH. Then I turned over and she worked on the front side of legs and thighs and arms and neck. When she was done, I felt like a limp noodle. She let me lie there covered up to my neck in the warm blankets for about 10 minutes.....then I was given a thick terry cloth bathrobe and was off for a facial.

Smoothing lotions, hot towels, hot steam, another warm bed, soothing music....by this time, I was in heaven. If you've ever had a facial or even a shave followed by a hot towel, you know the feeling. AAAH. And, she told me I had excellent skin for my age. [I could have done without the "my age" bit, but what the hell, I'll take a compliment any old way.] After the facial was done, she massaged my neck and shoulders again, gently. AAAH. Followed by another 10 minute period wrapped in swaddling clothes and drifting on the music, and I was on my way for a pedicure. AAAH.

I've had pedicures before where they use a razor to get the dead stuff off. This is the first time I've seen them use a stone to get it off. A cute, little skinny woman from Romanian with the weirdest accent worked to make my feet smooth as a baby's behind. Then, she finishes with a massage of my legs and feet. I was nearly asleep when she was done. AAAH.

The manicure was nice in another brown room with dim lighting and the music still meandering lightly above my head. I had a paraffin treatment. And the only time I was told that I needed a product. Cuticle oil. Buy it anywhere. Beats hand lotion. More massaging of arms and hands. Another beautiful cup of hot tea to enjoy while my nails dried. AAAH.

Then off to the dressing room. I didn't want to move. Nearly couldn't - I was too relaxed after five hours of doing nothing but enjoying.

Out the door to reality. The sounds of construction, the road blocks, the traffic. Helluva way to end a flight of fantasy.





*Swaddling is the art of snugly wrapping your baby in a blanket for warmth