Once a month I go out with the girls for an evening of dinner and gossip. Short on the first as everyone is watching their weight and long on the second; after all, we are women. It is a varied group ranging in age from 35 to 71 and we normally have about 10 people in attendance. Last night we had 14 which was the largest group to date. I remember when we first started this last year we had four. Then four invites four more and on and on we grow. Of course, people do have lives and sometimes there are trips and events and things that get in the way so 10 is the average.
When I was in high school, I had friends that I would hang out with. But I left town to join the Navy and left them all behind. My life was full of different experiences and horizons and I was not comfortable as I once was. And then I got married, started working full-time and had children, so my friends were my co-workers. We rarely got together outside of the office setting. A few showers, wedding - baby - etc. - and the company dance once a year, but never to go to dinner with just the girls. The problem with this scenario is that once you no longer work for that company, the friends fall away. You no longer have in common that which was the glue that held you together. Phone calls get scarce and then stop all together. You have to ask yourself, my fault or theirs?
Now my daughter seems to do well in this area and she just traveled to the other side of the nation to visit a high school friend. My mother-in-law has friends from 70 years ago - so she is doing something right. My sister-in-law never met a person that she wasn't immediate friends with. When I think about what they are doing right, I have to think about what I may be doing wrong.
Maybe you have to care enough to get deeply involved in someone else's life. That what you consider prying into your life may be just an effort to get to know you better. Maybe you need to pick up the phone once in a while to speak to them, just to check in.
I don't know. I still haven't figured it out.
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2 comments:
Its just a keep in touch. I dont talk to her often. But when we do its like we never stopped talking for 3 months - it just picks right back up.
Granted - shes the only one I do keep in touch with - I tried to do that with a few others since that Classmates thing came online - but - I really didnt have the energy or the interest.
I now have a girlfriend because of HB - otherwise I would still be sitting here with no one. Never good in soccer mom situations - work is filled with men and I really dont want to get 'thatclose' with my neighbors.
Your a pretty private person anyways - never one to share you life or stories without a glass or two in you. So...enjoy your monthly evenings - they sound like fun.
If you truly want to know what happened to that certain person that you really liked. Call them up on the internet - and send a card! It will really mnake thier day.
I think your group should start a Red Hat Society. I can just picture you in red & purple. ha ha
You have always been shy but with a quick wit & crack the hell out of me with some comments you make with a dead pan look.
So let me assure you dear Sis, you are definately doing something right believe me ! Love ya !
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